The Sneaky Turtle
Tut was a land turtle and didn't like swimming in water. One hot afternoon, he was basking in the sun, enjoying the warmth it brought him. He was having a good day.
A little later, he heard a noise from across the pond. The noise was coming from his friends, they were having a party up on the hill.
Feeling left out, he decided he wanted to join them. The only problem was that he didn't know if he would be able to swim all the way across the pond. He hated water and there was no way he could walk all the way around the pond.
Tut sadly sat near the edge of the water, trying to figure out a way to get across the pond.
An alligator, named Ally, was passing by and saw the gloomy look on Tut's face. Ally loved the water and spent most of her life in it. The only time she ever came out of the water was to lay her eggs.
"What's wrong?" asked Ally.
"I have no way of getting across the pond" responded Tut.
"I see.. I could take you across the pond" said Ally.
"Wow, really?" responded Tut.
"You have to do something for me in return" Ally demanded.
"What do you want?" asked Tut.
Ally demanded that he must help her keep her eggs safe. She had laid them in the mud and grass, near the shore of the pond. She showed Tut where she had them and asked him to help her keep them safe.
"If you take me across the pond, I'll help you keep your eggs safe" said Tut.
Tut climbed on Ally's back and enjoyed the ride as she swam across the pond. Ally was feeling great, thinking that she was going to have help protecting her eggs. Little did she know that Tut had a different idea in mind.
When they reached the other side of the pond, Tut climbed off her back and went to meet his friends. They both agreed to meet back at the shore later that day so that they could go back to the other side to watch over and keep the eggs safe.
Tut met up with his friends. He had a great time.
Later that evening, Ally had returned back to the meeting spot to pick Tut up. He told her that he decided to stay with his friends.
"That wasn't the agreement we made" said Ally.
Confused, Ally became angry because Tut wasn't going to help her protect her eggs.
Tut had tricked Ally. He was never going to help her protect her eggs. Instead, he used her so that he could get a ride on her back to go across the pond and be with his friends.
Sad and heartbroken, Ally returned to the other side of the pond to be with her eggs. She learned a valuable lesson that day. Be careful when it comes to trusting others, you never know what their motives may be.
I really liked this story. I can see where the style is like the original, it's straightforward and the reader knows exactly what's going on. Did you consider trying to write verses for the story, like in the original "Lion and the Crane," or did you find that it was better to keep everything narrative? Also, I felt really invested in the story, which usually takes me a lot longer to really feel for characters. But I was honestly upset when Tut double crossed Ally. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI liked your version of the story. I have read the original in one of my other courses once but I do like your version. I can't remember the exact ending of the original so I was very surprised and upset when Tut double crossed Ally. That was quite rude of him & being an alligator, I'm quite surprised that Ally didn't go do something about that. Did you ever think of ending it with Ally getting revenge? I would have considered it if it were me writing the story, just because I got invested in the character. It's funny, I never would have thought that a land turtle just wouldn't go into the water. I assumed all turtles went into the water sometimes, because even the box turtles we caught as kids, while spending most time on land, did like having a little "pond" when we would make one for them. Not saying your character was wrong, just that I never thought of it that way before. Very interesting!
ReplyDeleteHey Braley! I really liked your rendition of the story. It seemed rather ironic that the turtle betrayed the alligator instead of the other way around. It adds a theme of "you shouldn't judge a book by its cover". I wonder how, without the help of Ally, Tut would return back to his original home. That is the consequence of betrayal. It burns down bridges when we can just all help each other. What if in the story, it explicitly shows how Tut also loses out on their deal. With your ending, it makes it seem as if the only one to lose was Ally, even though she was the one that held true to her promise. I guess that's not the moral of the story though, because the moral of the story is to be careful when trusting others. That doesn't seem like always a good moral to go by, but I can agree that it is important to do so at times.
ReplyDeleteHi Braley,
ReplyDeleteI really like the overall plot of your story. It’s very interesting to see two reptiles (alligator and turtle) talk to each other. Normally in nature, alligator would have much more competitive and survival advantages over turtle. But in your interesting story, turtle is depicted as a clever character who can strategize and take advantage of alligator to achieve his purpose and aims. I also like the lesson at the end of the story that says anyone should be careful when it comes to trusting others.
Hey Braley! I like how you clearly stated that lesson of Allys experience at the end of the story. At first, I was going to say that I wished that I knew why Tut did not hold up his end of the bargain, but at the same time, I think that it teaches you a lesson that people (or turtles) are sometimes just self-interested and do not think that they owe others an explanation. It would be interesting to see what Tut said in response to Ally when she said that he had broke their deal. That would be a great place to further antagonize him if that would be something you were interested in doing!
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