Links to the stories in my Portfolio:
The Jealous Girl
The Princess Maid
The Three Sisters
Prom Night
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Reading Notes: March's Ears, Part A
March' Ears Author: W. Jenkyn Thomas This story was about a lord named March. He had a secret that nobody knew, except his barber. Th...
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Hey! My name is Braley Bench and I'm a senior here at the University of Oklahoma. I'll be graduating in December. I'm from Enid,... -
Link to my Portfolio: Braley's Mythology Portfolio Links to the stories in my Portfolio: The Jealous Girl The Princess Maid The... -
The Three Sisters The Three Sisters (link for my Portfolio) There once were three sisters, Hailey, Tatiana, and Landry, who lived t...
Hello Braley, I thought your version of “How Sun, Moon, and Wind Went Out to Dinner” was a nice change to the story. While reading your story I felt almost a similarity to Cinderella which was nice because I felt like I already had a connection to the story since I have seen Cinderella before. I thought your story was very well written but I do believe you could lessen the space between each paragraph. The extra space kind of makes my eyes wonder a bit. I thought your portfolio is very well put together and I like how you have an image in the banner that gives a quick preview of what the story is going to be about. If I were to suggest one thing I would recommend adding a link to your comment wall in your blog under you story and in the cover page. Overall I thought your story was really great, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Braley!
ReplyDeleteI thought the way you were able to modernize this story in your rendition worked very well. That's something I have a hard time doing when I write and you made it all flow and come together to make a point at the end. While I can understand why someone might not like the spacing you use when you format the story, I found it easier to read and follow along because of that little gap. I think it might be interesting to add a section to the story that contained dialogue from the two sisters that didn't help their father. I bet they would have some interesting conversations regarding their sister's actions and the state of their father and his business. It would give the reader an of what kind of reactions they would have to their father's passing and perhaps an indication of what kind of relationship they had with their sister. If you had time, the story may also benefit from some extra character development that shows why the youngest daughter was the one who decided to take care of her father.
Overall I really enjoyed the story and definitely admired the way you were able to tell it in a modern fashion so well.
Hey Braley! I just read your Princess Maid story and I loved how in depth you went into King Charles's childhood so that we can see why his past experiences made him the way he was, right before we, as the audience, would assume that he would be the villian of the story. Since the story was centered on King Charles's development, I think it would be interesting to see what it was about Belle that made him want to change who he was. Maybe you could add in some details about her personality and how she was so patient during his evolution into a better man!
ReplyDeleteHi Braley! I just ready The Princess Maid story and really liked how you changed the plot of it. You made the characters more relatable in my eyes. You basically gave Belle a background knowledge and she had a good understand of the king. She eventually started to like him but only when he changed. I think that makes the story a lot better because if she would've just fell in love with the king without knowing anything about him before it wouldn't be as nice. She saw change within him slowly and decided that she wanted to be with him. I really like how you spaced your story as well because it made it much easier to read. Usually my stories are all clumped together but I will for sure try and do what you are doing. Other then that I really enjoyed the change from the original story to what it is now.
ReplyDeleteHi Bradley! I just read a Princess Maid story and i am really love how you describe the context of the story, a childhood of Charles and the life of Belle before married the Princess. I really don't know what happened but i couldn't find your comment wall directly from your project (although when i first encounter, i remember i saw the comment wall link).
ReplyDeleteBasically, the theme is the kind of the same compare to the original one. Except now Belle live in the house with the Beast. I wonders how Belle and her family didn't hesitate to live in the same place with the beast without fear. it would be better if you show us more background how thing changed before and after the princess being turned into a beast.
One more thing, it is maybe because Belle and the beast live together for a long time (before he was changed his appearance), so the relationship between them is so close. Therefore, the story can become more attractive if you add some intense twists (a conflict that made Belle leave the house, maybe).
Hey Braley! I love the concept of your portfolio because all of these stories are making me super nostalgic to my teenage days and I love how we can see tropes that appear in both movies/books/etc. and in real life in your stories! I just read your Three Sisters story and I loved how clear it was to identify the moral of the story, especially because you took the time to show us what Landry and her father's relationship was like by telling your readers what she did for her father with benevolent intent. I think it would be interesting to see something towards the end of the story to show that the girls did not regret not spending time with their father because he was close to dying, but they regret not getting onto his good side before he died. If you wanted to, you could maybe do this by making the Hailey and Tatiana seem like they were rushing to see their father's will right after he died.
ReplyDeleteHi Braley! I really like what you have in your portfolio so far! I would suggest having a link to your comment wall on your home page or somewhere on the website. I enjoyed the plot twist at the end of 'The Jealous Girl', but I thought the story ended abruptly. I wonder if the girls ever made up or if their friendship is past repair. 'The Three Sisters' had a really good plot, and I think karma finally got to the two older sisters who did not help their dying father. I think adding a conversation between the three sisters covering the older two not helping out would benefit your story because it would show how Landry was feeling about her sisters not being involved! Overall, your stories were fun and easy to follow and I really enjoyed reading your portfolio.
ReplyDeleteHi Braley!
ReplyDeleteI just read your story, "The Jealous Girl." Your author's note was very helpful because I hadn't read the original story of The Jealous Wife before. I like how you decided to make this story your own. I am always a fan of making things a little on the happier side and not as gruesome, so I liked your version of the story much better than the original. I like how in your story you seemed to try to make it more modern with the girl having a crush on a football player. That made your story seem fun! It was a little difficult to read and follow along because of all the dialog in the story, but the dialog itself was good. You also did a good job of describing your characters to help paint a visual picture for your readers. Great job!
Hey Braley! This is the first portfolio I have read so far and I really like it. "The Jealous Girl" was written really well. It sounds like a pretty realistic thing some high school friends would do. I like how you added some background information about the girls and their relationship, it let us know that they were long time friends and not just acquaintances. The layout of your portfolio is good too, the pictures you chose are very fitting to the stories. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHey Braley!
ReplyDeleteYour interpretations of the classic stories are quite profound. I enjoy the modernization of them because it sounds less like a classical story I have to force myself through and more like a juicy rumor I have to treasure. Thank you for making these readings so enjoyable! I was trying to find errors to help you correct them, but honestly I could not see anything that I really wanted to change or was confused on. I am honestly looking forward to reading more of your stories as the class goes on.
Hey Braley, excellent portfolio so far! I like everything you have done with formatting for your portfolio. Each of the banners provides a nice setting of the scene without dominating too much of the page. Each picture also seems to have a similar style that creates a sense of connection between the stories. I really liked you story “The Jealous Girl.” This was a great modern day retelling of a classic story. I think there are an incredible number of different ways you could take this if you wanted to expand it. I think the party scene specifically, provides a rich environment for plot elements or even more descriptive detail. This story remains a classic because it hits on one of humanity’s oldest problems of jealousy. I wonder what I might be like to compare a modern day party to an ancient party. It could be cool to have a character transport from a Halloween Party in 2018 to some ancient celebration. Just ideas, but overall I like where you’re headed with this portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHey Braley! I just read your Prom Night story and I still can't believe that Jackson thought agreeing to both girls would be a good idea! As the lesson that the girls and I learned from this story was "don't throw away friendship for a boy", I think it would be beneficial if you expanded on the rift that the Jackson problem caused in the two girls' friendship. Maybe you could include more about how the girls felt when they didn't get to indulge in the prom experience as they had hoped to because they didn't have their best friend at their side. For example, you could talk about how sad the girls felt having to get ready for prom by themselves or how both girls were so excited to be going to prom with Jackson but they had no one to share the news and their excitement with because the girls were fighting with each other. Another suggestion that I have would be to maybe make the ending much more dramatic, in which the girls can't believe what Jackson did and they dump him and go to prom together and have a great night with their best friend!
ReplyDeleteHi Braley!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great portfolio! The stories have been so fun to read and I am really liking the way you have set up your site. The stories are all easy to find and get to and the visuals for each one are fitting and exciting. I also really enjoy how you make the classic stories more modern! I think it makes them so fun to read and very easy to relate to in some aspect. I really liked your Prom Night story, it had a great lesson about friendship. Overall, great portfolio and I can't wait to see what else you do with it!
H Braley!
ReplyDeleteProm night: The first part of this story where they are going to aske the same guy is straight from a movie, so much drama. I would suggest adding more images though to break up the text to help make it easier to read. Images are a great way to give the reader details without saying it.
The Jealous Girl: I love the idea of the main character's mothers being best friends and predetermining that they are already best friends. Think that is everyone's dream sort of. I can totally see this happening also in a small town (I grew up in a small town) and went out to a party after every football game it seems like.
The Princess Maid: so it is King Charles or Prince Charles? You go back and forth. I know that he was a prince when his parents are alive but becomes king after.
The Three Sisters: Why did the mother leave when they were so young? When reading from the will everything is left to Landry, but mentioned Landry again when hoping for the other two daughters to realize the importance of family.
Hi Braley!
ReplyDeleteThe first story Prom Night was such a fun read. I think this would be a great idea for a movie. I remember in High School that finding a date to prom was such an intense experience. Was he going to ask you? Would you have to ask him? Your story portrayed that really well. I was wondering though why Jackson decided to say yes to both of the girls? And did they end up having a good time at prom, or were they mad at him?
I liked that the Jealous Girls story had an ending that didn’t resolve the problem and end up with everyone happy. Jealousy in real life more often than not ends really messily, and this ending does a good job with that. I also liked that you added both River and Penelope’s thoughts, it really helped to know what they were both thinking and added to the drama.
Hi braley! i read your story, "the jealous girl" i loved how you made a story that many of us can relate to. i loved reading your story and it being in modern day. your story from the beginning had me hooked and i wanted to continue to reading it. your descriptions of the different characters was great and i felt as if i could picture them. your use of dialogue was great and it really helped portray the girls emotions over the boy. you really portrayed both characters emotions, great job!
ReplyDelete