For this story, I've decided to take a whole new route. I've changed up the main characters who in the previous story were many fish, a saint, and his friend. I've decided to use the same scene as the previous story, but have a whole new story plot and ending. A little background on the original story, which includes the fish in the sea, the saint (Saint Gudwall), and his friend. The saint and his friend lived on a tiny island together and were beginning to worry because the waves from the sea began rising and crashing into their home. Devastated and cold, they had no where to go. Sure enough, the fish in the sea came to their rescue. The fish began to build a sea bar to create a barrier so that the waves would no longer crash onto their island. Saint Gudwall and his friend were able to return home and live on the island.
Saints: The Fish Who Helped Saint Gudwall
Author: Abbie Farwell Brown (1900)
The Whale and The Mermaid
Many years ago, a beautiful girl, named Coral, lived on an island all by herself. She didn't mind living alone though, for she found it to be peaceful.
Coral lived on a tiny island that had all she needed. It had a small cave to where she had shelter, and many trees to where she found fruit hanging on them to eat.
To fulfill her days, Coral would go out into the ocean and swim with the fish and sea turtles. She had always felt some sort of connection with the sea and the animals that lived in it.
Coral always thought there was something different and unique about her. She could swim hours upon hours in the ocean and never become tired. She was a fast swimmer and found racing the fish and turtles to be fun!
One afternoon, she noticed that the waves were unusually large and violently crashing onto the shore. The water was beginning to rise and started washing into the cave. She started to become worried.
Later that evening, she was awoken by the cold water touching her skin. The water had flooded her cave and she had no choice but to leave the cave and go somewhere else. She walked to the shore line and saw a whale that had washed up on the beach.
"I have come for you" the whale said.
"You have come for me?" asked Coral.
"You are the chosen one, and you must come with me now." exclaimed the whale.
"I can't just leave my island, it's been my home for so long" Coral replied.
"If you don't come now, the water is going to continue rising and wash away your island" said the whale.
Hesitantly, Coral took one last look at her island and swam with the whale into the ocean.
As Coral and the whale began to swim, she started to feel weird and tingly. She became concerned.
"Don't be afraid, you are the chosen one" said Whale.
Confused, Coral continued to swim.
A bit later, Coral had noticed she was swimming unusually faster and didn't even need to hold her breath under water. She also noticed that all the animals in the ocean were following and smiling at her.
She soon realized that she was in fact the "chosen one."
She had been chosen to become a mermaid and become the queen of the ocean. Everyone began congratulating and applauding her as she grew her mermaid tale and wore her crown.
Coral was much happier in the water and loved being surrounded by her friends.
Hi Braley! I really enjoyed how your story began with your author's note. It really helped me to understand your creative process and gave a little background to a story you took into your own creative world. I like the character Coral as she reminded me of Moana and I enjoyed the idea of her leaving the island instead of staying because that obviously was what led her to being a mermaid. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Braley! I really liked how you kept the beginning of your story similar to the original story, but gave it your own ending. After reading the author's note, I was expecting your story to follow the same path the original story did, so it was a pleasant surprise to see that it had a unique ending. I appreciate the Coral was able to accept her destiny and did not fight what needed to happen for her to become a mermaid.
ReplyDeleteHello Braley! I like that you put your authors note at the beginning of the story. I think it helps set up what we are about to read and you can help the reader have a better understanding this way. I liked that you kept the beginning of the story similar to your last. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Braley!
ReplyDeleteI liked that you kept the scene the same and changed the characters. I feel like normally people will keep the characters and change the story or scene. I thought that was very cool. You were able to keep the island as a home and the face that it was flooding and turn it into a whole new story.
How did Coral end up on the island all alone? Was she put there by someone? Did her parents die? Maybe she was apart of a shipwreck and the only one to survive? I think that could be an interesting thing to consider.
Maybe since she was the chosen one that is why she was the only person to survive the wreck and washed up on the island. I wonder what would have happened if that was the case.
Overall it was an interesting story and I think you did a great job.